Update Loneliness, Statistically Proven or How to EXCEL at Dating

Hello Readers!

     So I'm going to continue my statistical analysis of my profile, maybe it will shed some light as to why I'm still single or how I should continue in the future. The first thing I decided to do was create word clouds. They're pretty hot right now in the whole blogging/web 2.0 scene and I thought they might prove useful. In order to find a use for them I started looking through my messages.

     Right away I noticed two distinct populations (or datasets). Messages which were unsuccessful at obtaining a response from the solicited girl (Unanswered Messages), and messages that were successful at obtaining a response (Answered Messages). It was quite clear that I've become more successfull with time, and the majority of unanswered messages I've sent were at the beginning of my tenure on OkCupid, so I wondered if my message writing had improved and evolved over time. The first thing I did was plot my success rate over time (in this case months). Graph after the jump.

Update It's Definitely You, Not Me

     Since logging back into the site I've been looking through my match searches, and my history on the website. It's kind of comforting to see that some of the girls who rejected me early on are still floating around the site trolling for men. Maybe it's because it indicates that they were the issue - that they were too picky/not very compatible. It's not me, it's them.

     I'm going to go ahead and try to do some OkTrend type stuff on any data I can pull from my account. Some statistical analysis if you will - hopefully you guys find it interesting.

     All of these ideas come from the OkTrends website, which is a blog that the operators of OkCupid run. They perform a bunch of statistical analysis on their huge database of account holders to determine trends in messaging patterns and success rates. It's super interesting and I highly recommend it to anyone with a few free minutes. It's what brought me to the website in the first place. More after the jump.

Entry Seventeen. A Crazy in Lion's Clothing

     This is the tale of my first date which occurred without aid from an online source. My friend likes to call these girls "Normies," as opposed to their crazy online counterparts. I think this term is generous, to say the least - I don't think girls in the real world are any less batsh*t crazy then the online versions.

     This particular normie I met while at the annual grad school Halloween party, so it's a little out of date, and for whatever reason I was hesitant to write about it, but here it is.

     The following is the recounting of our meeting, as well as our first and only date the following weekend. Enjoy...

Update

Yeah, so I caved.

Pretty quickly too. I have no self control.

I went a good couple of days without using my account, but I think I restarted it for good today. We'll see what happens, but no guarantees. I started receiving messages almost immediately too, so that helps. Either way, I'm not going to keep putting all my eggs in an online basket. With that in mind, I'm going to write up about my first offline dating experience in Montreal, stay tuned for that.

Anyway, onto more pressing matters. I talked with Das German today, and we're planning on meeting up soon. I don't know if it's her horrible English, but her messages have a lot of innuendo to them. Either way, I'm not expecting much from this contact - since she's just couchsurfing in Montreal at the moment, and moving on, to the West coast, in a couple months.

Yours truly,

Be Good. Goodnight

Evening readers.

I think I've burnt myself out with all the dating lately, so I'm gonna step back from the online dating scene for a little bit. I've disabled my account for now, and this will be the last post for the foreseeable future. I'll probably cave at some point and reactivate it, but for now I'm letting things be.

Thanks for reading, and if I ever go back to it, I'll try to keep track on here as I've done.


Be good folks. Goodnight.

Entry Sixteen. Night 2, A Not so Silver Lining

I talked and exchanged messages with the Silversmith for over two months. The conversation turned almost immediately to our mutual frustrations with dating, and the online variety in particular. At the same time, I was meeting other girls, including Gamer Girl, so I wasn't necessarily interested in seeing her right away. Her profile was mysterious and elusive and I found it intriguing more then anything. We talked about my job, her school, dating, life in general and our dreams and aspirations.

We eventually decided on seeing each other in real life after awhile of hemming and hawing. I wasn't sure what she'd be like in real life. I was really worried that I wouldn't be as interesting in real life. The nature of the medium can lend itself towards a cleaner, more polished discussion, and I wasn't sure if I could replicate my candor in real life.

Incoming Message

I've been getting a lot of messages like theses ones lately;

"Hey _____;

Sharing stories sometime is possibility, but it seems that something just got kind of serious with someone for me here, so I've decided to close my account. It has nothing to do with you, if I wasn't knee-deep already I would totally want to meet you. And who knows, I could be back at any point. We'll see.

Take care,

_______"

And this;

Entry Fifteen. Night 3, Failing the Class

     As I said in my update, I thought my date on Night 2 went very well, and I have plans to see her again. Therefore I'm skipping "Entry _______: Night 2, The Silver Lining" for now.

     Night 3 belonged to Must Love Dogs (MLD) and it came in the wake of two other dates. By Saturday night I was already pretty tired but this date had been planned for awhile and I didn't want to cancel last minute. It was also on the heels of my more or less successful date with The Silversmith so the night's company had a lot to live up to.

Must Love Dogs
     Age: 22  Height: 5'7''
     Stats: Undergrad, dog owner, looking for short-term dating

Entry Fourteen. Night 1, Project Runway

     First up;

The Fashionista
     Age: 25  Height: 5'3''
     Stats: Racially ambiguous, artist on the side, good taste in music

     I actually messaged this girl twice. When I first started on the website she was one of my first matches and I tried to contact her unsuccessfully. She subsequently deactivated and reactivated her account, so I tried again. This time I got a reply and we exchanged a few messages before we made plans to meet up.

Update 3 Nights, 3 Dates, 3 Girls or Two outta Three Ain't Bad

     I am exhausted.

     Today is Sunday and it marks the first day in four that I don't have a date. Phew. I actually I could have had a date, Das German invited me to a "bacon party" a la Epic Meal Time but I need time to recover, and not to destroy my body.

     Anyway, I'm gonna break down the last few days before I get into each date individually. It's also interesting to note that for all of these dates I've been rocking a dirty 'stache for Movember.

     Scorecards after the jump. This post contains spoilers, so if you'd rather read about the dates before knowing how they ended wait for the next couple posts.

Update

Been awhile.

So I haven't been super active in my online dating life since East Coast. I actually met someone in real life at a Halloween party and I went on a date with her. That story isn't done yet (or maybe it is), and it's also not an online dating story so I may or may not write about it at some point.

So I've been talking to a few girls on the Internets and I have one date scheduled for tomorrow night (actually was rescheduled from tonight, what up wit that?). I also have up to 3 more dates upcoming for this weekend and/or next week but we'll have to wait and see if they materialize.

I'll add them to the Scorecard as applicable.

Incoming Message

Oct 30, 2011 – 9:27pm

"I just have to say that's a rockin' Russel Brand costume. I do hope you went all out and acquired many sexual partners and did lots of drugs, à la his style. If not, I am only slightly disappointed." 

86% Match 87% Friend 6% Enemy

Incoming Message

Oct 29, 2011 – 3:33pm

"hi there. you seem like a nice, decent guy. i would like to get to know you some. would u like that? i may not be the best looking or your type, but i am a great friend. im _____. and im 25. hope to hear from you." 

54% Match 70% Friend 31% Enemy