Entry Eighteen. Das German Ist Gut

     My date with Das German happened one night a couple of weeks ago in late November. I remember it being exceptionally cold that night - like, foreigners dressed in Canada Goose Jackets cold.

     Let's recap, Das German (DG) had messaged me on the site and we exchanged a few quick messages before adding each other to Facebook. She was couchsurfing her way across Canada before moving on to the rest of North America. She was really hot, in a blonde haired, blue eyed kind of way - like someone in a David Hasselhoff music video.

Das Deutsch Frauen
     Age: 24  Height: 5'5''
     Stats: ESL, blonde hair, blue eyed, tourist

     She lived way the fuck out east by the O-dome, so I suggested someplace by a metro - Bily Kun. There was some confusion, and she postponed the date by a day because of her new job and training. We ended up chatting on Facebook for a couple hours later that night, and even though her English was broken it was clear this girl was down to party.

     I took the metro there because of the weather and because I was running late. I actually made eye-contact with her on the platform at Berri-UQAM waiting on the Montmorency metro. I didn't know it was her at the time, but when she came out just after me I recognized her as so.

     She wore a heavy pink winter jacket and had a thick German accent. We walked to the bar and found a table. It was busy that night, and as usual, dimly lit. We ordered a couple Czech beers and discussed her adventures in Canada. These included, but were not limited to, hitchhiking from Winnipeg to Toronto, in the cabin of a truck with her hand on a screwdriver the whole way - for fear of getting raped and/or murdered. At the time I still had my Movember 'stache and this brought up a whole slew of conversation topics, including Prostate Massages. This naturally led into a discussion of our sexual histories, where she therein explained how she's done virtually everything under the Sun. It was on like Donkey Kong in a German brothel.

     She invited herself back to my place to Party and we caught the last metro going south. I'll spare the Internet all of the details, but we had a couple more drinks, a little light mustache play, and a hardcore German Sparkle Party. She sneaked out early in the morning to catch the first metro and I never saw her again.